Thursday, April 23, 2020

ADHD Guide for/by Artists, Day 2

i don't know how to get away from trying to appear 'authentic' or being 'funny' when trying to address the very real, un-glamorous side of self-care, but I still think that it's highly underrepresented and underrated...

what about posts that vulnerably convey exactly how hard it is to take care of ourselves,
that self-care kindof sucks
to HAVE TO DO day in, day out,
and that even though an obvious reaction may be pity, instead, the response is a collective sigh, and then an encouraging nudge.

i don't think that this point can be re-iterated too much, that we are all going to lose our sh*t both mentally and materially, just like everyone at some point is going to be disabled, not if, but when (the main disability justice concept). And when sh*t is going down, likely we're going to be coy or 'cute' about it, or will want to try to take care of things all DIY style because we feel like otherwise we're being a burden.

This is where i feel like radical disability justice would step in, like that super best friend and say, WHO IS SICK?, and break down that a big part of what we're really struggling with
is that it's OTHER so-called 'normal' people that don't make it seem alright to be ugly crying in public,
or that in America's lack-of-a-safety-net,
that we have messed up concepts of what one has to prove about how we've tried until we're sore to do things the 'normal' way, just so that we can get a break,
or trying to do things at a fundamentally reasonable pace. These are the things that fly in the face of 'normal' that push back against happily working oneself to death,
identifying oneself into a singular identity, just so that others are more comfortable.

i don't know what's more damaging of a word, 'crazy', or 'normal'?

As one concept of queer theory says: make the normal strange and the strange normal. 

  
[Kermit-the-Frog-Colored page that is an excerpt from: Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha's book, “Care Work.” "But before we jumped into Google calendar, one member pulled out a flip chart. She said that before we did anything we needed to talk what would allow us to give and receive care. Most of us, she pointed out, had received shitty care, abusive care, care with strings attached. Most of us, she guessed, would want to give care, and then shrug and say, “I don’t know, I’m fine” when asked what we needed. We went around: What made it possible for us to receive care? What was bound up with that act of reception? Under what conditions could we be vulnerable?”]



So in making two pages that are about convincing someone to try something. i feel like i'm either trying to convince people to join me in doing a book club with this amazing 'Care Work' book that is so appropriate for this exact moment, or... i'm totally that person who says "have you tried yoga?",

but I feel like unlike the people who say "but have you tried chamomile tea?", i had given yoga a try FOUR DIFFERENT TIMES, and i wish it had been introduced to me less as a

'you should try it sometime'
and more like

'ok, i may have joined a cult, but this is downright witchy sh*t, if anything Yoga, not ADHD, has superpowers, it can POOF, turn your brain OFF (in that Matrix there-is-no-spoon kindof way)'


and maybe being injured finally gave me the permission to see it differently that

a. i didn't like the feeling of sweat, and previously was actually very confused that i would start sweating just from stretching (being tactile sensitive, having an aversion to looking ugly in public)

b. it feels better than the pain from not stretching, probably the polar opposite of sitting in an office all day (a P.T. once said to me, do you know what the best posture is? the position that your body has been in the least)

c. it's a downright weird mystical thing to be able to wring out ones body and flush out where one may unconsciously store stress (which sounds all 'woo woo' until you go to a doctor and they can't figure out the source of the pain, also see: the body keeps the score) and then finally
d. that after the workout (asana) you are actually much more prepped for meditation (in shavasana), and by prepped i mean that, it felt downright miraculous to me that the 101 thoughts that would be going 101 miles per hour practically STOP.

Something about the combination of the external motivation of someone getting me to focus on either my breathing, my body, or their direction, which is reiterated by being a wave in the ocean when amongst a group, and that i still have to show up voluntarily (because i never actually want to do it at the time, the reasons for self-care will never not be a drag), and that you don't have to know all of the Indian words, or even have to take it all seriously, because it can be more like improv dance than line dancing.

Caveat: it can also be downright dangerous, and i think that was something i was always skeptical of when seeing my partner talk about pinching her back when she was in a certain position, so thankfully that was an educated-guess worry because there's a lot of BS instructors out there that don't prioritize physical safety or know how to convey it effectively as the #1 most important component.

Ok, sorry that was long, especially since i've even already written a bunch about yoga here, but I've never... made a contrarian diagram about it before?



[Sage colored page that has text in a radiant circle and the title reads: "The different parts to a yoga practice". I think this is because my therapist was saying that yoga is A LOT of things, so i thought maybe one of these might interest someone who has never tried it before. Listed in no particular order it says "Yoga is... the physical part (asana), Reducing future pain, being with people, striving & effort, You for you, meditation, softening, struggle, Rest, Noticing your body, steadiness and ease, a little bit more focus & attention, breath informing movement, movement creating an environment for more breath, if your spine is in alignment, muscles don't tweak, a five-thousand year old Indian philosophy, and lastly, Yoga is... That studio that is gentrifying the neighborhood. It is ALL these things and more.] 



You know what else i've never done before? Put up a Patreon page.


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