Saturday, November 30, 2019

unsuspecting

28

   "When describing or advertising a program, see if you can determine which pieces of information are most important for preparing your audience to enjoy the experience. If you’re doing an experimental music show with face-melting bass frequencies, you should inform your audience in advance. But the backup band (a family of rabbits wearing ear protection) could be kept secret as a pleasant surprise.

   Give enough information to entice those who will enjoy and repel those who will not. What are things the audience should know? Airborne food. Excess smells. Seizure-inducing strobe lights. Presence of fire. Lack of fire exits. Nudity? Disclaimers are useful for clearly communicating not only the relevant details of a program but also its tone. A well-written disclaimer is simultaneously a form of promotion and warning.

   When we learned that the Harmonium Orchestra would be performing at Machine, we ran to Wikipedia, which informed us that a harmonium is a free-standing musical keyboard instrument not dissimilar to a pipe organ. We suspect that this event will be your only chance this weekend to witness six harmoniumists free of charge in an Echo Park storefront measuring under six hundred square feet. That’s a healthy ratio of one harmonium every hundred square feet. Since our air conditioning is broken, it is highly likely that no matter where you sit at this event you will be within fainting distance of a harmonium.

   “This show will start exactly at 8 pm. No late entry! We’re serious. We’re locking the door at 8 pm. Do you remember when we did the Sexi Midi show and you came late and you couldn’t get in because the door was locked? Don’t let that happen to you again! Warning, this event does not involve nudity.”


excerpt from Machine Project THE PLATINUM COLLECTION
By MARK ALLEN, CHARLOTTE COTTON and RACHEL SELIGMAN

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