My fears and my ideals

A theme in my work:

Tension between optimism and my observation of the inherent flaws in how we have tried to move forward so far…

I seem to employ 2 natural modes working that produce something naturally, organically:

1. Pointing out/investigating the inherent philosophical and rhetorical flaws in education because we know that there’s a problem, we know the problems in addressing that problem and given the ability to have a kind of clarity we might actually just have a chance at changing something in our lifetime.

2. Producing an art object that has no purpose than to be enjoyed for its aesthetic value.

I am interested in making a kind of “activist art” or even “utopian art” (for lack of a better word) that questions, makes someone reflect, and is possibly a catalyst for change, a la Mel Chin.

Right now I can image a body of works titled "The Best Education" all based on my distaste for what's called "The Mcdonaldization of Education" There is my one digital poster and then there's the book that counts everyone that opens the book (currently having a mockup finished) and then there's the idea at the bottom... But I feel like this is the start of my series of works about this topic.

Healthy skepticism of my own practice (similar to my agnosticism in life) My Fears:

·      I do believe that there is a right way as long as you don’t imagine that there’s one right way, but that’s a kind of utopian paradox…

·      I fear that everything might collapse because of the nature that I do believe in a kind of utopia, I have faith in a better society (I’m a big believe and staunch advocate of “fake it until you make it”)

·      I have fear of being caught for doing the “fake it until you make it” tactic, because I am in a graduate program for making art, am I still faking it? (My art definitely fakes something, but reveals a kind of reflection that changes how we might see reality, but doesn’t faking something to reveal the truth debunk conflict with my other sentiments, that trying to exercise our "truth" onto others is problematic?)

·      Much of my confidence comes from “fake it until you make it”, what if this is taken away from me? It's the only practice that has ever worked for me!

·      I fear that I will be lost trying using my “fake it until you make it method” if I compare myself to others (just had 3 anxiety dreams last night about other people in my program making really interesting work and feeling excited for them but also feeling extremely intimidated)

·      I fear being misguiding or misguided

·      I fear producing quantity over quality throughout my art practice 

·      I fear getting caught up in trying to make a statement will create disappointing results that no one will care about

·      I fear being discounted for having more privileges than others

"What do you fear?" - Sarah Tripp

The art concept that launched the thinking process:

(I woke up this morning from a dream that I was struggling to pay attention to a movie that was being screened in Detroit, it was very important and it had everyone's attention, but I kept meandering around, trying to find something to eat or drink, casually talking with whoever wasn't paying attention to the movie. When I woke up I realized that whenever I create a social critique, it starts with imagining the ways that I am part of the problem.)

The work would be people sitting in a room watching themselves sitting in a room watching a documentary about global warming. Titled “Living with our investment in the environment”

This work is about questioning, if environmentalism was so important to people, why is this the way that most of us become aware that there’s a problem? Why aren’t we taking field trips to dumps, questioning the censorship of these kinds of field trips? Why are we distancing ourselves from seeing the trash in the landscape and opting for a stroll through a park to “get it”? We are constantly mediating our experience of what is truly important to us rather than coming up with ways to have more one on one experiences with each other and with an issue, if something is deeply personal it needs to be addressed this way. Americans show how much they care through their actions, this applies to a lot of other issues, from consumption to relationships between us and other people.

(I would probably use that technology that superimposes images inside of a video, but is there something like a live Adobe after effects to do this?)